The team at Referee Rant is proud to announce our first of many E-books, the first one being the 22 Rules of Refereeing. We have been hard at work in giving you premium content on officiating, and this is the first fruit of our labor. The first 11 rules will be rolled out for each week in the summer. By week 12, the last 11 rules will be included with the first 11 in digital book form. Without further ado, Rule 1, now.
RULE 1: FEARLESSLY FAILING.
There’s two types of people in the world, yet I find myself only reading one paper. Within the New York Times, a reader can be read an article in oh so many ways:
Person A, can perceive all the negatives and the niceties of the news cycle, and not let it affect the rest of their day, their week, their life.
“Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” – Dale Carnegie
Person B, can perceive those same negatives and niceties of the news cycle, and internalize it to the point that it’s their external. Someone got murdered so the door has to be more locked that day. A helicopter crashes into a building and now we can’t look at the sky in the same way. God Forbid.
“Reality is my drug. The more I have of it, the more power I get
and the higher I feel.” – Curtis Jackson
Sizing up Person A to B, which person do you think would be a better official? Person A already has the skin callous enough to be ready for future spew-age of spectators and fans, and the unpredictable rhetoric being on the court, on the field, and on the clock. But person B perceives that information different; a word, an inflection, a look, can rattle that person theircore. But here we are; failure is inevitable.
We are hear to make the fear of it, FEARLESS.
OBSERVANCE OF THE RULE
April 2013 – It’s month 6 of my officiating odyssey. I’m only armed with sparse knowledge of the 2 page rule book of the only sport I ref, Flag Football. Today is a Sunday, the week after Easter. In the playground of an elementary school, I have 6 games with a fellow official we will call Carl.
“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
– Marcus Aurelius
Carl has been reffing for 6 months, but he’ll do me one better; compound that half a year with another 9. That’s almost 10.5 years of experience on the field. Suffice to say, I was new.
8:48am: It’s the first Game of 6, and the first team strolls up. I forget their names, but that was never important. What was, was the initial disdain for the players to see Carl as their official that morning. They had no opinion on me – for I was no one. I knew we were in trouble when the second team comes. Not only did they had disdain for Carl as well – they brought even more of it.
“You ready to be the line judge?,” he asked, already sensing through my facial expressions that I wanted no parts of his interrogations. “I’m not ready-“ I said. He knew that already; my mouth confirmed it.
There is a strong delineation in responsibilities with Flag Football with two officials. Now that I think of it, it’s the perfect muse to learn – as the backfield judge, you learn to watch off-the-ball, as the cornerback is often jostling, wrestling, and trying everything they could to wrest away the ball if the Quarterback just so happens to throw their way. One of those plays happened, just like how I described, and I had no flag on the play, even though if I saw this 3 years later, I can call it from the Line Judge position. But that day was today, and I had no Flag. Carl did.
All. Hell. Broke. Loose.
But they weren’t messing with Carl, or the penalty flag on the floor. A Donnybrook ensured. Carl went into the middle of it, only to just miss a left jab by one of the players on the team the penalty WASN’T CALLED ON.
Carl, with second wind, became the Incredible Hulk, yet looking for the egress. “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE,” He bansheed. “I’M OUT OF HERE.” I pleaded, damn near begged for him to stay. He didn’t. Therein lies a fork in the road.
“No lie, just know I chose my own fate
I drove by the fork in the road and went straight.”
– Jay-Z
I was eviscerated, and about-to-be exposed. 10 years of Flag Football getting further away from the field, by the foot, only for Carl to start his car, reverse and roll. He indeed was gone.
I can’t do this; I don’t have that type of control to handle all these adults, I don’t even know what I’m doing.
– Ralph’s Lizard Brain
BALLS. I grew a pair that day. I had no recourse. All I had in the end, was Me, Myself, and I. My focus was sharper; my senses heightened. There was no rule book to do this by yourself, with a lack of working rule knowledge. But here I am, with my voice vociferous and histrionics in hyperbole. My efforts doubled that day; I was rewarded with double pay – and big balls.
“For life to be really fun, what you fear should line up with
what you desire.” – Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Interpretation of the Rule: Within that game, early on in my career, I quickly realized that the only way I was going to get through the game was to leave no stone unturned. Relying on a partner comes with a price. Of course they are responsible for their area. But that never accounts for the surface area you will be responsible if you are ever alone. you say it may never happen. Unfortunately and serendipitously, I’ve had the experience being a ref crew of 1. It has paid dividends as an official with adding another or a plus 2. Anything will be gravy if your used to solo endeavor.
“Maintain, few remain in the game
So I remain focused and pop’s the main aim.” – K-Solo
And fear. I can’t say you can ever conquer it, but its a palpable thing, especially when in situations and experiences that have yet to be for you. Failing is inevitable in officiating. Think about all the ones that are under your belt; about the ones that have never even came. Parse that feeling out. Sublimate it to action – bold action. If you know it’s going to rain; at least you have the umbrella ready. Now we can sing in it.
“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.” – Aristotle
Transgression of the Rule
May 2014. I’ll never forget the day – Steve Kerr announced that he was not coaching the New York Knicks. Looks like that has been a good move so far. That day I’ve never been so happy that their was rain the forecast. That day was the same day that my first double header in Adult Softball would occur, but it was most likely going to be cancelled. Most likely, never was.
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca
Oyster Bay, NY – Hours leading up to this moment I’ve had anxiety about this moment. Here we are in the pre-game, and all I can think about my previous experiences with softball. I recall the charity game I played 13 years before, in 2001, where I was ready to catch a routine fly ball in right field. I heard this faint thump that was some 20 yards away. By the time I realized where the ball was, the batter was already hi-fiving his teammates. It was an inside the park homerun.
It was a good thing that seasoned veteran Jon was with me that night. With 25 years of experience, he put me at ease, he had the plan that made the most sense. He would start with behind the plate, so he can show how he does things. Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two. But I was so nervous that I was just counting the strikes, the outs, the innings and how they were dwindling to the point that it’s almost about that time that I have to be behind there. Woe. Is. Me.
1st game ends, enter the 2nd with me behind it. Drawing from none of the experiences that just occurred, the first pitch came and went, and I made a call without even knowing what happened.
Ball.
BLUE WHAT IS IT YOUR FIRST DAY?!?!
Everyone knows in the land of Softball, that if there is a mat attached to plate any of the area that it hits, it’s automatically a Strike. I didn’t call it correct.
EVERYONE. SMELLED. BLOOD.
Jon gently waved to me. I came toward 2nd. He covered his mouth with his hands, and asked me what I had.
“Jon, it was going so fast, and I didn’t know what it was,” I said hastily.
“Calm down,” he said.
I couldn’t. I blew it, and it was my first play, EVER, behind the plate. 1 mistake, earned me 7 innings of vitriol.
1st inning in the books. Longest 23 minutes of my life, as I wiped away anxious drips of sweat from my cheek. The bud light didn’t help. It was now the 2nd inning, and the batter hits a screamer down the right field line. I track it. We can add track and field, because my vision was far from still, focused on how it needed to be. It was barely fair, but emphatically I called a foul. I lost credibility from both teams. And it was getting worse, by the sip.
“There can be no initiative if one has fear, an fear compels
us to cling to tradition, gurus, etc.” – Bruce Lee
The experience thereafter was tantamount to eternal tooth pain. I’ll never forget it, but the details were too excruciating.
Dejected, we went back to our cars after the game. It was not happy. Jon put his hand over my shoulder, for commiseration: “This may not be for you kid.”
He had no belief in myself. I don’t blame him, neither did I. I quit. “Courage is knowing what not to fear.” – Plato
Interpretation of the Rule: Everyone that has some experience will tell you how easy it is to officiate a sport. No better example as the game of Softball. At first glance it does look easy. You are stationary, often, making calls behind everyone. It’s pretty smooth with someone that knows what they are doing. It’s only when someone isn’t proficient in all those nuances, it’s feel, it’s idiosyncrasies, is when you start seeing the trouble. This only exacerbated my fear. Thus heightening my poor performance, thus getting in my head, that this may not be for me.
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Keys to the Rule:
PARSE IT – Fear is inevitable. Everything that can be divided can be conquered. Take your fear, and chop down it’s totality – Games, when officiating can be parsed out to simpler forms. 1st quarter, 1 inning, 1 half. No need to think about the end. No better way to tackle fear by being head on, and being present. Don’t think about things that never happen. Respond to the fear in real time. The more you immerse yourself in it in parts, the more you will revel in it.
MAKE IT SPECTACULAR – I hate those failures that were so small, that it doesn’t get the attention catastrophes bear. Theirs value in those disastrous moments, when everyone is watching, spectators cursing, and everything sporting events entail. I know from experience that no one will feel worse then yourself. It’s not like we go out there to make mistakes. But if we do, there is a simplistic beauty in the boldness of failure. The worse it is, the more likely you will never repeat it – nor forget it.
ALWAYS A LESSON – Never forgetting it is not enough. Tell a fellow official about it; you may save him having to go through it themselves. Lessons are meant to be taught. Write your experience and recite. Your repertoire in raconteur will be legendary. And funny.
“Without darkness nothing comes to birth, as without
light nothing flowers.” – May Sarton
Rule 2, next week. Until tomorrow.
