We talk a lot about finding mentors, but we don’t often talk about how to find and develop relationships with them. Some officiating associations don’t truly promote mentorship amongst their boards and associations, preferring old-boys-clubs, internal politics, and people trying to keep their own schedules. I truly believe though that on every board and association in every sport, there is someone who is looking to serve as a mentor. As one of my mentors once said:
If you want my games come take them, because it means you’re getting better and it’s going to force me to get better.
“I can’t want it more than you.”
– Nelson Santiago, Men’s Division 1 Basketball Official,
G-League Official.
So how do we do it? HERE’S HOW:
BE AROUND.
When I started officiating basketball, it was an expectation that the JV officials stayed after to watch at least the first half of the varsity game, and went into the locker room at halftime with the varsity officials. Sometimes it was just observing, other times it was asking questions or talking through plays, but it started dialogues with officials who I might not have had the chance or the courage to speak to, otherwise. Hearing them admit when they missed a call made me feel better about having to call someone up to ask for a rule or talk through a play. These conversations also showed I had the desire to learn, and it also gave us the beginning of a relationship where they could be honest with me in a way they might not otherwise have felt comfortable. If you have a free night, call up your assignor and ask if there are any good games or good officials working that night in your area. If you don’t feel like traveling or find yourself free on short notice, check the local paper and go to a game in your area. Try to get into the locker room with the officials or get their contact information to follow up and ask any questions you might have. Most really good officials love their sport and knowing that someone else shares that passion can get them on your side.
“The mentor is driven by the mentee.”
– Stephanie Barksdale, Women’s Division 2 Basketball Official,
G-League Official.
KEEP IN TOUCH.
Getting in your rulebook is important, but sometimes it’s worth making a phone call or sending a text to another official to talk a rule or a play out. The play can lead to a larger discussion about philosophy or similar plays that they’ve seen that you may want to be on the lookout for. In addition, they may be able to give you a way to remember a rule or a logic that you can follow on difficult plays that can’t simply be gained from the rulebook. Especially if someone offers to be a resource for you, take them up on theIR offer, even if the question you have could be looked up in the rulebook. Keeping contacts nearby helps me with this. I keep our associations phone list in my referee bag, and anyone who I work with often I make sure their number is in my phone. I am much more likely to make a call or send a text from the locker room than I am when driving home from a game, and getting out of the mode.
“A purpose is the eternal condition for success.” – Fortune Cookie
GET TO KNOW PEOPLE.
We don’t have to be best friends to work together or even serve as a mentor, but having conversations with our partners or other members of our board that don’t simply revolve around the game we’re working that night can be beneficial. We don’t have to spill our guts either. Having simple questions like “what’s the best team/game you’ve had this year?” can start conversations that build relationships. If people do open up details about them in the locker room, make a note to remember that fact. After each game I try to quickly put notes in my phone of things like plays to look at on film, strange plays and I’ll include notes about my partner as well. If I end up working with someone again, and they do a great job calling travels, I can go into my next game with them knowing I need to step up in that area.
“I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.” – Abraham Lincoln
PUT IN THAT OFF-SEASON WORK.
Mentoring doesn’t just last throughout the season. You may be in more frequent contact during the season, but there are things to be done in the offseason. Many boards and associations may have smaller groups that workout together in the offseason. Almost every board has some sort of “study group” that works on the preseason rules exam each year. Members of the association may do any number of things together in small groups in the off-season such as golf or card games. Don’t be afraid to ask to join, and if these things aren’t happening, don’t be afraid to try and start them. Just because your not the best official or the “new guy” doesn’t mean that you can’t be help organize things in the offseason.
“You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s ok ‘cause you’re only human.”
– Nelly Furtado
SHOW APPRECIATION.
Every time I achieve a milestone in officiating, or in life, really, I try to reach out to people who’ve contributed to my success. Honestly, that’s the easy part of showing appreciation, because it’s easy to be reflective when we achieve something. If I have a really good conversation with someone or they give me a good piece of advice and I have a great game after, it’s easy to send a simple text that says “had a great game, your advice really helped, thank you.” Knowing that our efforts make a difference make us so much more likely to keep sharing knowledge.
“If you admire somebody you should go ahead and tell em’
People never get the flowers while they can still smell em’”
– Kanye West
MAKE THE ASK.
If you find yourself meeting an official who you really respect and admire, don’t be afraid to ask them for help. It may be something really specific in their game such as mechanics, or just the overall way they handle themselves on the court. It might be awkward saying “will you be my mentor?” but asking things like “I really like your mechanics, how did you get them to that point?” or “I like the way you explained that – would you mind if I called you if I have a rules question?” The worst thing anyone can say is no.
“Life punishes the vague and rewards the specific.”
Until next time. Enjoy the Weekend!
