A Short Story of a Bad Man That Cannot Defeat Me.
By: Ralph the Ref
**PLEASE NOTE** Names have been changed to protect the innocent; except for mine because I’m guilty as charged.
October 2007. Seasons change. Leaves fall. I’m going through a pain that lingers like an unwanted metronome. To be exact, tooth pain, in which there is no way to exact revenge, or retribution of said plight. Yet we fight, until we can’t no longer. My wisdom teeth needed extraction, to alleviate the distraction. To the dentist, I go:::
DELETE.
I know that tooth pain, first hand, real well. Well, well enough to empathize with one that has fell victim to.
“When you meet a swordsman, draw your sword:
Do not recite poetry to one who is not a poet.” – A Ch’an
April 12, 2018 – It was a sunny day, in Levittown. Me and my partner, (who we’ll call Alfred-) I texted him early in the Ante Meridian.
Alfred, this is Ralph, Baseball official, we are working together tomorrow!
I texted again.
What do you prefer base or plate?
Good Morning, Thank you for asking. I’m scheduled to have a tooth extraction at 1pm so I may have stitches and most like be too verbal… Field will probably be best today if you don’t mind doing the dish. Either way, I’ll be there early as I’m going straight form the Dentist so as to just rest!
COPY. | CNTL + C
That game came and that game went. He did have gauze in his mouth, and seemed to have a tough time verbalizing outs equally as safes. It didn’t matter, I was behind the plate and it was a blip in time that I didn’t give too much credence to, until now.
UNDO. |CNTL + U
2019; It’s next year, May, and my partner is Alfred; again. I text him:
Alfred, we are working together, what do you prefer today:
His reply:
Good Morning, Thank you for asking. I’m scheduled to have a tooth extraction at 1pm so I may have stitches and most like be too verbal… Field will probably be best today if you don’t mind doing the dish. Either way, I’ll be there early as I’m going straight form the Dentist so as to just rest!
PASTE. | CNTL + V
My response:
You said that last a time. You literally had your tooth extraction the last time we worked.
OMG.
Is that your bit when you don’t want to do the plate?
It wasn’t the vice, the allure of doing the bases and stealing money. It’s the fact that I’ve heard this script before, 13 months before, and I hope that he hasn’t gotten 13 other umpires to fall for a duplicitous trap. We know you exist. Just be more inventive than copying a script straight from the notes app of your iPhone.
“Thank God I’m blessed so
Bad man can’t defeat me, yeah
Every day Jah surround me.”
– Popcaan
THE CROW AND THE SHEEP.
A troublesome Crow seated himself on the back of a Sheep. The sheep, much against his will, carried her backward and forward for a long time, and at last said, “If you had treated a dog this way, you would have had your deserts from his sharp teeth.” To this the Crow replied, “I despise the weak, and yield to the strong. I know whom I may bully, and whom I must flatter; and thus I hope to prolong my life to a good old age.
Alfred, we know there are people out there like you. Just work hard. No need to talk extraction, or exact a measure of revenge. Just bow out if it’s too painful, like a tooth ache, to do the plate.
My plate is full, but not enough to have a preference.
Next time we work, what do you prefer? Paste wisely…
RE-DO.
“Look, if I shoot you, I’m brainless;
If you shoot me, you’re famous.” – Jay-Z
Until tomorrow.
