Sunday, 9am: all the members of my Boy’s Basketball association descended upon my old high school, equipped with a shiny (at least to me) new gym, to discuss 3 man mechanics. It was more of the same I’ve come to expect. – the top guys in my association, going over the best practices of what the lead should do when they call have a foul, and have to report. It wasn’t so much about the subject matter that was being taught at the meeting, more so, all the people in the meeting.
When I first joined in 2014, some of those members were already were the veteran members that they still are, today. I was lost in the sauce. As I looked around the room, not only was I lost at that time, I didn’t think I would ever, ever be found. But each successive meeting I attended, I would latch on to a new guy, or sit with a newer-guy-than-me. 2015 came and went, and what came was another crop of officials. My first year became the second, as quickly as it was my third. All of a sudden, as slowly as it was fast, I was now a veteran just like those guys I saw in the room the first time.
Now I am the sauce knowing most of the guys in the room. But that? It. Took. Work.
The pillar you learn about in this writ is people – the essence of why we officiate. Aside from the love and respect we have for each respective sport we service, it would be nothing, if there weren’t for coaches, players, refs, and spectators. The commonality we have besides those participating is that we are all human beings. People
And no matter what level you are in, that fact remains the same. That’s why it’s as imperative as patience and practice that this is in the foreground when we’re at work.
“You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” – Abraham Lincoln
When I was king of the Junior High jungle, coaches were often in the same boat; it was a means to an end, an audition to take on and tackle something bigger or better, like Junior Varsity or Varsity – but we both had to start somewhere. As you rise through the ranks, you notice that you see the same people, over and over again. You are part of that over and over the process, as they view you the same way. That’s why it’s important to impart at all times, the Golden Rule:
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
My intent, eternally, is to start off with respect to all parties participating. They treat me well, I’ll do the same. However, if they want to shoot at the hip, I got my bullets. They ready, in the chamber, locked and loaded. I never want to bring it to pistols, but sometimes they force my hand. However, after the game is all said and done, I never hold a grudge. That day was that day, and it’s reset as far as I’m concerned, moving forward.
As I’ve moved up to be a Varsity official, many people have treated me kindly along the way. Perhaps they knew that I had potential, or maybe they thought I was entertaining. Nonetheless, I appreciate each and everyone who has supported me throughout my career, and of my new course my new endeavor, the Referee Rant project, as a whole. You realize many people work just as hard at their skill in officiating, players, and coaches, who often want to elevate just like you. Treat them respect, and watch them rise to the top, just like yourself.
“Chose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self.” – Karen Salmansohn
Having people skills is nearly as important as being proficient with the sports we officiate. Here are the best practices I’ve come to be true in my travels, thus far:
On The Clock
KNOW THIS WON’T BE THE LAST TIME – There’s this kid in the AAU circuit who’s
NEVER HOLD A GRUDGE – Since this won’t be the last time, and it isn’t the first, we are now in a holding pattern of purgatory. You determine your luck, you determine your attitude in the situations that are in front of you. Are you going to change the way you ref because you don’t like the coach? Are you going to call a foul on a kid whose parents are going berzerk in the stands? All sports are based on mistakes, and we are held to a higher standard, yet we are fallible as well. Be sure to put a smile on your face when you are making correct and incorrect calls
OFF THE FIELD
THE TALE OF TWO BRIDGES. ARE YOU BUILDING A BRIDGE? – Building relationships with all parties involved – coaches, players, and fellow officials are as important as learning the skill of reffing itself. Be sure that when you are making any decision on your career, think about if you are helping or hurting your integrity. Are you hurting another person by gaining an advantage? Never do that. That should be illegal like a palming violation used to blow by a defender. Treat your reputation like gold. People that you’ve wronged – their memories are often long.
OR ARE YOU ARE YOU BURNING A BRIDGE? – I know a guy in the AAU circuit that likes to double book, even though I’ve been consulted with him of how to avoid those situations. I’m not sure if he’s heeded my advice, but I always find him in a jam. He’s even in more of a jam because every time he does have these conflicts he wants retribution for things he has lost. He also does it in an acerbic tone. That tone rubs fellow officials the wrong way. He’s burning a bridge; a conflagration that will burn in effigy of the mind of his peers. He won’t last long. He’s going to burn out. Like that bridge. Don’t be like that – for he’s playing with fire.
“I follow three rules: Do the right thing, do the best you can, and always show people you care.” – Lou Holtz
TEACH WHAT YOU KNOW – Be generous information. No one is better than you being you, so you should have no ego in letting go of your
“Teaching is a very noble profession that shapes the character, caliber, and future of an individual. If the people remember as a good teacher, that will be my biggest honor for me.” – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
Last P, tomorrow. Until –
