FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EACH AND
EVERY MOTHER OUT THERE.
To my wife, who puts up with me making a website 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, and even when I’m not doing that, I’m reffing,up
until all of THIS happened.
And to MY MOM, who has been gone 9 years 3 months. I hope that everyone appreciates theirs in real time, as much as I appreciate mine, in absence.
For she is the inspiration for this penultimate rule about isolation, something that we are all commiserating with, apart.
We often think of that term, isolation, as something of a negative; no one wants to be alone. Being in the epicenter of the epicenter, NY, we are still getting used to being unconnected, of being alone. My Mom can relate, coming all the way here in 1967 from the Philippines, and being by herself with no family for months. My Dad didn’t come until 1975; and when they had me I was self-isolated. As an 80’s baby, I was double-whamed by the fact that my baby brother or sister would never come. An only child finds isolation, not that – but a regular day.
Everyday. All Day.
As officials, we often find ourselves being on an island too. Sometimes we do youth games with one official. Or when we do ref with a partner, yet it’s not as though we are side by side the whole game; rather they have their area, and I have mine – we’ll confer during a timeout or in the locker room. That way of life, or that notion, is all but gone.
IN THIS NEW WORLD, I’d like to give a shout out to my boy’s Andrew & Rich, and their Grandmother’s Daugther who offspringed them. To combat the virus, and isolation mentally, we came up with a daily ritual called the #pandemicprompt – in it, we all come up with a mind-bending question, something-that-makes-you-go-hmmmm-or-oh-sh*t at the same time. Today’s prompt was appropriate so I’d figure I’d share:
Prompt by Rich: (5/10/20, Mother’s Day) In the spirit of Mother’s Day, write a couple of things in your life your Mom, Grandma, or Aunt gave you inspiration to do. Was it an immediate lesson taught, or was it a lesson that took time to learn?
My Response:
My Mom was all sorts of inspiration. Aside from the things I’ve mentioned and aforementioned, my Moms was an isolated beast; as a kid without internet or siblings, I’d often find my Mom on her free time after working 60 hours a week devouring the latest Sidney Sheldon novel, cover to cover, in one sitting. I always thought to myself that I would rather do something else in my free time. I spent almost 23 years of her having that habit, calm and satisfied, sitting in silence, flipping a page every 1.5 minute. I never started reading until 25, but ever since then, I feel like I am the incarnate of my Mom. As a kid, it intimidated me to no end, how she would end these novels in one day. Little did I know that her actions would inspire me to not only voraciously read literature like she, she also even inspired me to write some of it too.
Post Script: When she was on her death bed, I told her to tell me a secret that she’s been witholding me and thought I would never hear it. She said, “You are left-handed – the reason I switched you was because I couldn’t teach you myself.”
AND that goes to the rule of isolation.
I am using this time wisely while we are apart. I’ve immersed myself in seeing that through, of being a left handed person, to better myself in this time of isolation.
“Isolation is a way to know ourselves.” – Franz Kafka
And in terms of an official, we still have the same connectedness that we always had. It’s not as though we saw each other alot when we were reffing anyway. We are leaning on the same group texts and Facetimes that we used. Just now, it’s more essential to our mental stability when it was a fleeting taken-for-granted feature, pre-pandemic.
I hope in isolation you are staying safe. Know we will ref again, some day. Take this time to sharpen a skill, that would be conducive to helping you on the court or on the field. Think of this as an elongated period of being off the field and off the court.
I think of officiating like a party; WE PREPARE SO MUCH FOR THE PARTY – the logistics, the inviting, the guest list, the hosting, the supplies, making sure everybody is happy. Those traits take longer than the party itself. Same thing with reffing – we spend more time thinking about it, preparing for it, visualizing it, then doing it. Now we have no choice. Use your isolation time wisely.
“Your elevation may require your isolation.” – Unknown
Happy Pandemic Mother’s Day!
#Untiltomorrow
